Photo by Boris Licina
Since turning twenty five last December I have been doing a lot of thinking. I guess I sort of feel like I am in this transitional period in my life, but have no clue which way to take it. I have so many interests and so many plans, none of which include a job. As of lately I have felt completely incapable of deciphering what is good for me and what is bad. I do know however that I need to make some choices soon, or I can loose these opportunities I have forever.
When I was a child my parents always encouraged and pushed me to do things that I loved. I tried a lot of different things, gymnastics, dance, art, baseball, soccer, writing, music, but I never could pick one thing that I loved to do above all else.
I didn’t know what I wanted to do, and still don’t. I have been involved in so many activities that I was never able to form a passion for one thing I especially loved more than the rest. For that reason I also was not able to build up the skill to become especially great at one thing. I know how to do a lot of things–but none well enough to feel any sort of expertise. While I do feel very fortunate that I have taken so many different roads in life, I wish that by now I felt more confident deciding what I love to do.
Now here I am at 25. I haven’t been able to save a single penny since turning 20. I am going to school for an unknown career. I am so unmotivated and I despise the idea of holding a conventional job. At this point I know I need to just pick something, and quick before I get to 30, 35, 40, or older and still am wondering what will become of my life.
Comments 2
Awwww, honey! I think we all feel that way at some point in our life - we come to a crossroads and we’re not sure where to go next! I’m not sure if this will be of any help to you, but when I was in a similar position, I used to ask myself all the time ”what would you do if you won the lottery tomorrow? WHAT?” - it would force me to think of what I would truly set out to achieve in life if I knew I couldn’t fail, and what I really, really wanted from life - it took a little bit of time to think about, but once I knew the answer, I began to question why it was that I couldn’t do this NOW - and then started taking baby steps towards what I wanted to do. I hope this info helps you, kitten, good luck! xoxo
Posted 08 Aug 2008 at 6:53 pm ¶I know exactly how you feel, I’m pretty much in the same boat, at 22, been in college forever, and still stuck in my hometown. It feels like our 20’s are shrouded in doubt, and we end up worrying about the future more than just living our live to the fullest (though it appears even in your troubled state you still manage to find the silver lining most of the time :)). I have to keep reminding myself that i’m still very young, and I have plenty of time to decipher my life plans. Despite what’s been drilled into my head since high school (i.e. figure out what you want to do! go to college, finish in 4 years, keep up with your peers or you’ll fall behind and never be able to catch up!!), I can’t let it get to me, and neither can you! I guess the point to all my rambling is this: You will find something that you love, it just takes time, energy and practice. Don’t worry about how long it will take, heck my 50 year old mom is just about to make a career change after having her job for more than 25 years. You could probably apply that same drive to dabble in so many things to your potential career! Anyways, hope I could help, at the very least know you’re not alone. Hope all’s well, keep blogging, I like your stuff (especially your indulgences page, I myself have been living a life of indulgence since 1986! hehe) have a great day!
Posted 18 Aug 2008 at 9:19 am ¶Post a Comment